Girlfriend
by Fairytale Mistress
Summary: Hermione is sick of watching Lavender and Ron be...well, Lavender and Ron. She wants the redhead for herself. Its the final year at Hogwarts and theres a fall talent show. Hermione signs up with the surprise of the century! Will she get Ron's attention?


_GIRLFRIEND_

Sixth year had been just awful. After the death of their beloved headmaster Dumbledore, Hermione had thought that things were going to be alright between Ron and her. That summer, they kept up friendly letter writing between the two of them and Harry and she figured that things were getting back to normal.

There was only one little problem with Ron that Hermione could not get over. That problem was Lavender. Since they'd started dating in Fifth year, Ron and Lavender had been laying it on thick—they never really were a "couple", always fighting, breaking up, making up, and so on and so forth—it was ridiculous the amount of drama it caused in the Gryffindor house. What was worse, Hermione finally allowed herself to admit that she liked Ron their fifth year. And ever since she'd told Ginny about her feelings, she'd not been able to get the red-haired freckled boy off her mind.

Now, they were going into their final year, and Hermione knew that she had just one last chance to secure a future with Ron Weasley. It all started a few weeks before they boarded the train…

* * *

"Ginny… I think I need your help with something." Hermione whispered one night, hopping on her bed with a flourish.

The younger girl sat up with interest. "What's that 'Mione, you know I'd do anything for you…"

"It's silly… and don't you dare laugh, but I want to get your brother's attention…if you know what I mean." Hermione blushed as red as the Weasley children's hair and she thanked God that it was dark in the room.

"Oh Hermione! That's nothing to be embarrassed about! I'd be happy for you to date Ron! Anything is better than that awful girl he's with now!" Ginny cried happily, laughing at her friend's hysterics. "What do you have in mind?"

Hermione was a great planner. She always thought things out perfectly, and she had had this plan in the works for several months. "Oh Ginny, there's a little song performance I want to give him. It would be _perfect_ if I could perform it for the fall talent show—right in front of everyone— " Hermione was talking more to herself than to Ginny. She began to lay out the plan…

"This sounds like it's going to be a lot of work, what can I do to help?" the other girl asked, taking her friend's hand.

"Well, I'll need an outfit, and I'll need a place to practice where he won't find me."

"Done!"

* * *

Several weeks later, Ginny and Hermione were chattering over breakfast when Harry and Ron wandered into the dining hall and flopped down at the table. The girls promptly closed their mouths and focused on the plates in front of them.

"What's up with you guys?" Ron asked, a little insulted at their silence.

Hermione hid her smile in her pancakes.

"Nothing, nosy!" Ginny called, shooting Ron a face, and then taking a giant gulp of pumpkin juice.

"Girls!" Harry laughed, rolling his eyes. He changed the subject. Have you guys noticed the flyers posted all over Hogwarts about the talent show? That's something new…" he muttered through his eggs and sausage.

The girls remained mysteriously quiet, and Ron narrowed his eyes. "Load of rubbish if you ask me. Kind of like that ball back in fourth year. The only thing worth going to is Quidditch."

"Oh. I don't know about _that_, Ron. I think the talent show might be _very_ interesting." Ginny chimed in, a glint in her eye. Hermione stomped her foot under the table.

"What are you on about?" Ron asked, shaking his head. "You can't possibly be thinking about _performing_ in that thing, can you?"

"And what if we are?" Hermione asked.

Ron didn't answer. Lavender plopped herself down beside him and planted her lips on his. This was their usual hello.

"Ugh!" Ginny grimaced. Harry made a face.

Hermione snatched up her stuff and stomped off to her first class of the day.

* * *

The week of the talent show, Hermione was a nervous wreck. Ginny had tried everything to calm her friend down, but nothing was working. Finally, she turned to Harry for help. "I just don't know what to do, I'm afraid she's going to hurt herself."

"What's she all worked up for?" Harry asked.

"Well, I'm not supposed to tell you." Ginny frowned. "But… It's for her own good. You have to _promise_ not to tell Ron!" Harry nodded. "She's gonna sing a song in the talent show to try to win Ron's affections for her." Ginny whispered.

Harry gasped. "You're not serious. I didn't know Hermione could sing…"

"She's got a good voice actually!" Ginny protested, "And that's not the point, anyway! She's worrying herself sick that she's gonna mess up, or be embarrassed, or that he won't get it. Or worse!"

"Ginny, what could be worse that all that?" Harry grinned.

"Harry!"

"Sorry! Sorry!"

"What should I do?"

"I think she'll be fine. Hermione thrives under pressure. This is the sort of thing she lives for."

"I sure hope you're right." Ginny wrung her hands over and over again and then proceeded to fill Harry in on the details, making him swear every few minutes that he wasn't going to tell his best friend what was going on.

* * *

"You _didn't!" _Hermione was furious. "He's sure to tell Ron!"

"Hermione calm down! I made him swear! He said he'd help! He'll get Ron to show up at the talent show!"

"_Ginny!_" Hermione was near tears.

"I thought it would help!" the younger girl reasoned

"Now I'm _really _nervous!" Hermione groaned, "The talent show is tomorrow, I don't have time to back out of it now. I'll have to perform and whatever happens happens!"

"You'll be great!"

The day of the show had finally arrived. Ginny helped Hermione get ready, and then wished her luck with a quick hug before bouncing off the wing of the stage to sit at the Gryffindor table. Hermione had been selected to go last of all the performers, and she sat on the sidelines watching various magic tricks be performed, some students chose to sing or dance, others chose to do things like play muggle instruments (a novelty in the magical world), even Hagrid participated by showing how he'd trained some wild beast to jump and fetch—of course, his trick went horribly awry, and he went chasing his animal out the side door….Finally, it was Hermione's turn.

She was dressed in a form fitting button down shirt, the top buttons undone, and the bottom buttons undone, to reveal cleavage and belly button, and her uniform, the skirt trimmed and rehemmed to be much shorter than normal, her socks pulled to her knees, and black shoes. Her hair was down, and in smooth curls for once. They lay on her shoulders, and framed her face perfectly. She chose several silver rings, necklaces, bracelets and earrings to adorn her look—she knew she would shock her classmates.

Nervously, she smoothed out her modified uniform, took the microphone, cleared her throat, and took center stage. The curtain was drawn, and she heard the gasps from her table, and from the rest of the room.

Then, the music started to play and she began to sing.

**Hey! Hey! You! You!**

**I don't like your girlfriend!**

**No way! No way!**

**I think you need a new one**

**Hey! Hey! You! You!**

**I could be your girlfriend**

Harry's shocked face widened into a grin that could barely contain itself. "No she didn't." was all he could utter before Ginny tackled him laughing.

Whoops and hollers rose up immediately. Most of the room knew exactly to whom she was singing. Even the Slytherin table began to clap along to the beat—Draco gawking at how scantly clad Hermione was.

However, Ron just sat there. Staring at Hermione with his mouth wide open in shock. He had never seen that much of her skin before. He'd never seen her hair that way. And he'd certainly never heard her sing. She was absolutely gorgeous.

Lavender got the hint all too quickly, and tried to drag Ron's attention back to her, but it was no use. Everything she did just made him more interested in Hermione. Finally, when kissing him didn't work, she slumped down beside him and crossed her arms angrily.

**Hey! Hey! You! You!**

**I know that you like me**

**No way! No way!**

**No it's not a secret**

**Hey! Hey! You! You!**

**I want to be your girlfriend**

Ron finally noticed _what_ she was singing and his heart nearly stopped. The noise around him was deafening, and the crowd was clapping and cheering her on. Even some students were pointing to him and motioning for him to make a move. But Ron couldn't have moved if he tried. Did Hermione really want to be _his_ girlfriend? The girl he'd liked since First year… surely not! Surely she was singing to someone else!

Hermione jumped off the stage and began to make her way through the crowd toward the Gryffindor table. All the Gryffindors crowded around her, all of them cheering her on, or begging her to reconsider them instead!

Finally, she made her way to Ron, and stood right in front of him, striking a pose she belted the next lyrics.

**You're so fine**

**I want you mine**

**You're so delicious**

**I think about you all the time**

**You're so addictive**

**Don't you know what I could do to make you feel alright?**

**Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious**

**Hell yeah**

**I'm the mother fucking princess**

**I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right**

A loud "Woooo!" shot out through the crowd at the last half of the verse and Hermione smiled. Yeah, she could curse. It wasn't in her nature, but she could do it. Ron stared at her wide-eyed, unsure of what to do. He wanted right then and there to push Lavender in the lake and take Hermione back to his room—but that was a bit unorthodox…her right in the middle of a song and every thing.

Lavender stood from her seat, done pouting and ready for a fight. Hermione took the confrontation in stride with the lyrics, and pushed her back into a sitting position.

**She's like so whatever**

**You could do so much better**

**I think we should get together now**

**And that's what everyone's talkin' about!**

Ron let out a laugh at Lavender's folly, and looked over his shoulder at Ginny and Harry who nodded in assertion that everyone was _indeed_ talking about how he and Hermione were 'meant to be'. How could he have missed that!? It was about that time that she stepped up onto the bench beside him and then onto the dinner table and began to prance down it letting him watch her how her hips swayed. She was gathering support in the crowd.

**Hey! Hey! You! You!**

**I don't like your girlfriend**

**No way! No way! **

**I think you need a new one**

**Hey! Hey! You! You!**

**I could be your girlfriend**

When she spun and sashayed back toward him, she saw his bottom lip drop imperceptibly lower and she knew she had him where she wanted. She stopped right in front of him, and bent over to him, thanking God she'd remembered to wear bloomers, and pulled him up by the collar. She ran her fingers down one side of his face before singing the next lines.

**Hey! Hey! You! You!**

**I know that you like me**

**No way! No way!**

**No it's not a secret**

**Hey! Hey! You! You!**

**I want to be your girlfriend**

Lavender hopped up beside Ron and began to scream obscenities at Hermione. Hermione only shook her head and grinned down at the offending girl. The whoops and hollers roared over Lavender and her voice really couldn't be heard. Hermione pulled Ron up onto the table with her, and poked him in the chest with a finger. Smiling as she said the next lines, she thought about pulling his wand from his pocket and making Lavender for _real_.

**I can see the way; I see the way you look at me**

**And when you look away I know you think of me**

**I know you talk about me all the time again and again**

**So come over here, tell me what I want to hear**

**Better make your girlfriend disappear**

**I don't want to hear you say her name ever again**

Ron had totally forgotten that Lavender even existed. The violent tugging on his pants leg was worlds away from where he was looking into Hermione's brown eyes. Even he contemplated using his wand on Lavender when she wasn't suspecting it. It was pretty clear, by now, to everyone in the room, who Ron was meant to be with—and who he chose.

Hermione was really becoming annoyed with the girl at her feet. She wasn't prone to violence, but the energy of the song just propelled her forward. She stooped once more and looked Lavender in the eyes. The other girl's fury was obvious. Taking a full mug of pumpkin juice from dinner she poured it over the girl's head singing the next lines of the song with a laugh.

**She's like so whatever**

**You could do so much better**

**I think we could get together now**

**And that's what everyone's talkin' about!**

Standing up, she took Ron's hand and they began to run down the table toward the stage together. By this time, Ron was completely into the song—having forgotten his negative attitude about the talent show before dinner. Ginny and Harry scrambled up on the table to watch the events unfold.

Hermione pulled Ron up onto the stage and began to dance around him as she sang and swayed to the music. The whole room was in an uproar by this point. Even the professors were smiling and clapping their hands.

**Hey! Hey! You! You!**

**I don't like your girlfriend**

**No way! No way!**

**I think you need a new one**

**Hey! Hey! You! You!**

**I could be your girlfriend**

Lavender had cleaned herself with the help of Parvati's wand, and was making her way through the crowd furiously seeking the stage. She had been humiliated by Hermione Granger and she was not about to let that stand. Ron was _her_ boyfriend. And she wasn't going to let some saucy know-it-all have him!

Hermione saw her coming, and alerted Ron, subtly, to the fact. Both began to dance to the music, smiling, and Hermione launched into the second half of the chorus.

**Hey! Hey! You! You!**

**I know that you like me**

**No way! No way!**

**No it's not a secret**

**Hey! Hey! You! You!**

**I want to be your girlfriend**

Lavender clambered onto the stage in a flourish and marched up to the two dancing there. It was all out war between the two girls as they faced one another. And one held a microphone. Ron was positioned between them, in a most unfortunate position, and the battle for the man began.

Each girl only got a few words in edgewise, some they spoke to one another, some they spoke to Ron… and some they spoke, well, just to say them…

Hermione looked at Ron and grinned, "**In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger**

**Cause I can, cause I can do it better**—" but she was interrupted.

Lavender burst out, grabbing Ron's hand for effect, "**There's no other**

**So when's it gonna sink in?**"

Hermione pointed to Lavender and cried, "**She's so stupid**"

But Lavender got the last word, simply yelling "**What the hell were you thinking?**" at Hermione, or perhaps Ron…or perhaps both of them…

The crowd was so thick, and gathered so densely around the stage watching the actions that the professors couldn't intercede if they had wanted. Every student wanted to see how this was going to turn out.

The fight continued with finger pointing.

"**In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger**

**Cause I can, cause I can do it better**" Lavender tried to assure Ron that she'd get him back eventually… "You'll always come back to me—you always do!"

But Hermione spoke up, "**There's no other**

**So when's it gonna sink in?** He's not interested, Lavender!"

"**She's so stupid!**" Lavender cried pointing at Hermione.

Hermione scoffed and motioned toward the audience and the trek she'd made to the stage, "**What the hell were you thinking?**"

Ron looked back and forth between the two, and then wrapped an arm protectively around Hermione. Lavender, seeing that she'd lost the battle, turned and darted off into one of the wings. Hermione jumped right back into the song, and tilted her head into the direction Lavender ran.

**Hey! Hey! You! You!**

**I don't like your girlfriend**

**No way! No way!**

**I think you need a new one**

**Hey! Hey! You! You!**

**I could be your girlfriend**

Ron was more certain now than he'd ever been before that he was in love with Hermione. No one had ever done anything so huge to get his attention before… He supposed he was just to dense to realize that after all these years Hermione and he really were supposed to be together.

Hermione began to draw the song to an end, and pulled Ron in close to her swaying to the beat. Much of the crowd had taken to pairing up by this point, following her example. Ginny and Harry had snuck out a few verses before. She couldn't believe that she'd done it. And her little stunt had worked. She'd gotten the man of her dreams. It had taken seven years, six battles, several near death experiences… summers spent avoiding the truth, and many awkward moments, but finally, she was gazing into the blue eyes of Ronald Weasley, her _boyfriend_.

**Hey! Hey! You! You!**

**I know that you like me**

**No way! No way!**

**No it's not a secret**

**Hey! Hey! You! You!**

**I want to be your girlfriend**

"Ron," she asked, when it was all said and done; when the halls had cleared, and they had the privacy to walk around without being gawked at, "do you think our relationship will be anything like yours and Lavender's?"

Ron stopped in his tracks and stared at her. "No way!"

**No way, No way…**


End file.
